shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
