Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
