Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
