Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
