Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
