You work out of a Hotel?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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