We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
