so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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