Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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