i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
