i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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