I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
