in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
