Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
