If that was your dad, he is hot
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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