its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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