once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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