We won't sleep together?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
