:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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