Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
