"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
