We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
