this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
