I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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