you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
