I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
