Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
