my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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