I wish I only lived at night.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
