No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
