I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
