Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
