just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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