Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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