Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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