i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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