I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
