pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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