I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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