I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
