I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
