is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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