I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
