she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
