I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
