Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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