yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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