How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
