I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
