is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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