it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
