to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Randomize
