Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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