The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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