idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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